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xxhopexisnotxlostxx

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xxhopexisnotxlostxx  

sigh...

it has been a week since my last meal....please help... i dont know what else to do...

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xxhopexisnotxlostxx  

maybe someone can help me find a reason for all of this pain.....

waking up each morning feels like the some kind of horrid obstacle course... my back certainly feels like i fell asleep on a hurdle. i have to brace myself for sharp and sometimes incapacitating pain if i want to even attempt to get out of bed. this morning the electrician had to help me out of bed...the super had to let him in to work on my apartment because i couldn't get up. talk about embarassment; some strange man seeing me in my knickers. i'm only twenty five years old but my body feels more like seventy. not one doctor has given me a proper diagnosis. i am sure being uninsured doesnt do much to help. i have a constant sharp pain underneath my left shoulder blade and its getting worse every day. ive been told i have fibromyalgia, myofascial pain syndrome, severe anxiety disorder... so most doctors think alot of this is in my head. i dont think losing circulation or even worse, the complete lose of function in my hands is something i am dreaming inro existance. i dont know what to do. has anyone else here had symptoms that are similar? are there any groups that offer help for chronic pain sufferers? i would like to see someone who can figure out what is going on before irreversable damage is done to my body. im afraid of what may happen if this gets any worse.

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xxhopexisnotxlostxx   in reply to Margaret5   on

HOPE

i wish i could read this post with the begining of each new day. hope is what has kept me alive through out this ordeal and words that hold so much inspiration are like a beacon of light to help guide us through these dark times. thank you for bringing a little light to my day! =-)

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xxhopexisnotxlostxx   in reply to SysBot   on

What's on your heart and mind today?

today felt harder than usual... i finally found enough courage to ask my mother for help. i explained to her that i had not eaten in several days, i cannot get out of bed becasue of my FMS. my mother said that she would pray for me. i've been praying for a miracle for days now but i think god might be on spring break. its really hard not to lose it when your own family constantly puts you on the back burner. out of sight out of mind never felt so literal. i just really need a hot meal so i can think straight. i dont like the options my mind presents when i lose hope.

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xxhopexisnotxlostxx  

About xxhopexisnotxlostxx

i feel like i am at the end of my rope... i'm 25 yrs old and completely alone in this city. i feel like misfortune is forcing me to harbor an almost bitter hatred for san francisco. i lost my job in february after missing most of january due to pneumonia. lets just say that i was in no way financially prepared to be unemployed. now i am so behind in rent, i am on the verge of being evicted... evicted for a SRO that has no heat and VERY faulty electricity. the stress has wreaked havok on my fibromyalgia. my days are now spent in agony. for the last week i have not been able to get out of bed due to the pain. its worse than anything i have ever felt. i am feeling so hopeless im sorry if it sounds like im throwing myself a huge pity party, i just feel like i am completely out of options. i have no money, no food - i even ate the last of the bbq sauce a day or two ago. luckily the pain from the fms makes me nauseous so i dont think about food too often. ive been denied all government aid and i really dont know what to do at this point...

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